The First Question!

Question of the day:
My son William is in first grade. He is supposed to have a zoom meeting with his class every morning and he has a project he is supposed to do each afternoon. I am able to have him make most of the zoom meetings, but we can’t always get the homework done. I feel stressed about this and I think I am stressing my son and making it worse. What should I do?

Identify your concern
An important thing to address is what is the concern. Are you afraid William will get in trouble with their teacher? Will the other kids make fun of him or will he feel dumb if the other children know more? How will this impact him next year if he doesn’t learn all the material?
Keep things in perspective
The first thing to keep in mind is what the purpose of school is at different ages. For young children, the most important piece of school is learning to socialize, how to get along with other children, how to listen to the teacher. School provides structure, enables kids to see their friends, and gives them the tools to start learning, all good things. But, a young child will usually need someone to sit with them and help them do their work. If you have the time and your child is enjoying the work (kids love to master things) all is fine. But that is rarely the case. Right now, parents are juggling working at home, cooking, taking care of their other children. So, it is important to prioritize.
Permission not to do Everything
These are not normal times. This is a crisis right now that everyone is trying to get through. It is important to keep the big picture in mind. It doesn’t actually matter if your child learns to read now or 6 months from now, they will end up learning to read, and there is consensus on the idea that learning to read earlier doesn’t make you a better reader in the long run. So do not stress, and stress your child about not getting everything done. Do what you can. Some families will make every zoom meeting and get every project done. Others don’t have online access. Just as you as a parent need to give yourself permission not to do everything perfectly, your child may need reassurance about this. Be open to his feelings and worries about school. Together you can set the goals you are trying to reach in accordance but not necessarily exactly the same as his teacher’s syllabus.(i.e. reading each day together but it may be for 10 minutes instead of for 30 minutes if that is more realistic for you as a family).
Student engagement is important in the learning process
It is important for the child to feel a sense of personal engagement with his learning. Giving him a sense of agency can make him care more about the schoolwork, it could be as easy as him deciding which homework subject he will do first. If you can think of some fun educationally supportive activities such as singing the alphabet song together that will help him feel engaged as well as connected to you in the learning process.
Talk to the teacher
If the work and goals feel like too much, talk to the teacher. Most teachers are new at online teaching and parent feedback is very helpful. Teachers need to hear if something is too much, or is stressing the kids. If you ask them, your child’s teacher can prioritize what they want kids to learn, so if you only have 20 minutes you know what things to focus on. When I have suggested to parents that they let teachers know how they (not just the kids) are doing and what is helpful for them and what is hard, the teachers have been very responsive.
Key take-away: Do what works for you
In these tough times, use school as something to help. School can help structure William’s day. It can be a fun chance for him to see his friends. It is an opportunity for him to accomplish things he can feel proud of. And, he might not be able to get everything done. So, remember the most important point with a young children is give yourself and your child permission to do what works for you as a family.
Helpful Hints:
Try to do schoolwork the same time each day.
Make a designated study space. (Bright and colorful if possible)
Try and make it fun
Set up educational playdates where children can talk about their schoolwork
Remember that if you miss a day or cannot get all the assignments done that is ok.