Summer Camp?

Question: “Every year, my children can’t wait for summer camp. The camp still hasn’t announced what it’s going to do, and my kids are beside themselves. How do I help?”

There are many incredibly disruptive and upsetting aspects of the Covid situation. Two that go hand in hand are what children are missing and uncertainty, because not only are they missing many important events, activities and milestones, they also don’t know what else they will miss and when it will end. If you separate the two out, and break it down, there are some proactive steps you can take to help your child. First, your kids are missing things and that is upsetting to them (and you). It is important to acknowledge this loss, and not just try to cheer them up. Although their birthday party may seem small compared to people dying, it’s not small to them. So:

1. Acknowledge the loss.
2. Come up with an alternative plan, not the same but still something they can look forward to.
3. Depending on your child’s age, help them to understand the difference between what will happen and what might happen. For a 5 year old, there is today, tomorrow, the next few weeks – and then it all can seem the same. So if they are going to miss their birthday party in 3 weeks, then, in their mind that means they will miss Christmas, Hannukah, Thanksgiving….You can explain that they won’t have the birthday party that had been planned, but you can come up with a different celebration and make plans for another party down the road (for example, although you might not be able to all go out to a movie theater, as things open up, we might all be able to go to a drive in and park next to each other and bring popcorn for everyone). You can also help your child to distinguish between next week and 6 months from now. Which leads to the second issue, uncertainty. You can’t reassure them by saying your party isn’t happening but we are definitely going to see your grandparents for the holidays. Instead, it may be helpful to develop a flow chart with your child with many different, and fun alternatives. For example, if in two weeks restrictions are lifted then you will go to camp. If they are not lifted we will get a Slip and Slide. If in 4 weeks restrictions are lifted, you will go to the second session of camp, if not the family will take a trip to the beach. If restrictions are lifted in August you can….. Basically, you are trying to give some certainty amidst the uncertainty. Although you don’t know exactly which path will play out, you do know how each path will go.