Planning for College

Question: “Our family is entering a period of financial crisis. My daughter is a junior in high school. How do I talk to her about what’s happening, and how it will affect the way we plan for college?”

 

Question: “Our family is entering a period of financial crisis. My daughter is a junior in high school. How do I talk to her about what’s happening, and how it will affect the way we plan for college?”

From your question, it is clear that the changes in your financial situation are drastic enough that the plans your daughter had and her understanding of how she will be able to attend college has changed. Important issues here are:

1. How the changes will effect the logistical aspects of going to college
2. How the change effects the safety and wellbeing of your family
3. How it will effect your daughters’ feeling
   

In discussing the practical aspects, it is helpful to determine in what ways the change in your financial situation will directly impact your daughter and what options there are for her. Was it the case that before you were able to pay for her education and now you can’t contribute, or does your changing situation mean that she can’t go to college because you need her to help support the family? Breaking down what has changed in relation to her going to school and what the family needs are can help you come up with a plan specific to your situation. For example, will she need to apply for loans and grants, does she need to only look at public institutions? In applying to colleges there are a number of aspects to consider and her knowing what the financial limitations are will help her find schools that fit. The more difficult task is helping your daughter to understand and process that what she assumed she would have is no longer possible. The discussion needs to walk the line between helping her understand the changes in reality but if possible not burdening her with worries and things she can’t control and help. One way to help her understand the big picture, is to discuss with her her longer term goals. If she wants to be a teacher or an engineer, for example, looking at which schools graduates are hired from can reassure her that she doesn’t have to go to one particular school to get there. Your daughter may feel angry, hurt, and disappointed. Unlike with younger children, she is old enough for you to point out that although this may be a big disappointment, many people are suffering from loss of jobs and that she is lucky that she has the opportunity to still go to school. Going to college, leaving home, starting on the path to adulthood, it is okay for your daughter to begin to understand that sometimes choices are not unlimited.